Monday, March 16, 2015

My Testimony



This week was crazy. It is 70 degrees today and I got asked to give a talk on my last Sunday here...can you believe it? One more week!

Wow, I seriously can't believe this will be my last email home. Honestly, it feels great cause I am so SICK of computer screens! But I am still so lucky because I have one more week to dedicate to the Lord. How blessed am I! I decided, this being my last email, it would be well worth it to bear my testimony instead of boring you about my crazy week. I have come to realize that I am not too fond of bearing my testimony because words can't even begin to express what is in my heart. So bear with me.

I love Heavenly Father so much for loving me. I was reading over my journal entry from when I was set apart as a missionary and one of the promises stood out to me as I now come to the close of my mission. He said "my testimony will grow immensely and whenever I am discouraged, turn to Christ. He will wrap His arms around me and comfort me." My mission has been so hard. I realize this is not unique to me. When I was in the MTC, I had this grand idea of the missionary I was going to be. As I started my journey I realized that I would never become that missionary. I wish I could say I was perfectly obedient, I was not. I wish I could say I brought many people to the waters of baptism, I did not. I wish I could say I held many leadership positions, but I did not. I am not who I wanted to be but I am what Heavenly Father wanted me to be. I have an unshakable testimony of my Savior. And I would do this all over again, walk through hell and back just to show Satan what's up. I am not perfect. Thank goodness our ticket to heaven is not determined by our performance as a missionary! Our ticket to heaven is determined by our ability to get back up every time we fall. Man, am I so thankful for every single moment that I fell because every time I fell, I fell one step closer to Christ. I have felt His arms around me in many ways throughout this journey and oh, how much He loves me. I wish I could say more about who He is but I can't even think of anything more beautiful about Him than His ability to love me unconditionally even when I give Him so many reasons not to. Are we not so blessed? Simply that is it, the essence of everything we do. The reason I gave up a year and a half of my life. The reason I get up every time I fall. The reason why we time and time again make the harder but better choice. HE IS THE REASON. He is everything to me and I am so thankful for the time He has invested in me. I love this gospel, I love that there are always second chances and that hope is the beautiful message we share everyday. There are always GOOD THINGS TO COME.

Thank you to everyone that was there for me that got me where I am today. You didn't give up on me and you helped me become something so much more. Mom and Dad--thank you. You mean the world to me. Your example and strength is the only reason I am here. Allison and Justin--I love you. Thank you for loving me even when I wasn't the best example. Don't forget how much I love you! Thank you to everyone else who loved me as well. You are amazing and, of course...


On a lighter note, we had gumbo and I ate squid!

Then I had catfish for the first time and it was really good!

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