This week was a very up and down week. I had a very hard week with Sister Rudd but we had a good heart to heart and were able to straighten a few things out. But, first I'll talk about the fun stuff!
This week was the fourth of July. Of course, I was so excited because it is my favorite holiday ever! We got to listen to patriotic music all day long. It was awesome. Elder Christensen and Elder Smith made us a CD of awesome music. I got to listen to country music and, man, do I miss music! We then had to have our cars parked at 5pm and the "B's", our ward mission leader and his family, had a huge BBQ and they invited all of the elders too. The "B's" are seriously the coolest family I have ever met. They have 7 kids and when they moved here they wanted to buy a small home with some land but they felt prompted to buy this house instead so that they can have others in their home who do not know about the gospel. That's what they do. Every Sunday we go over for dinner and they have someone over who is a friend or a neighbor who are not members of the church and it has been so cool to see them totally embrace hastening the work. They do so much for us and I love them. Anyway, we went over and there was a huge BBQ and we played lots of games and then we all drove down to the center of town and watched the firework show. We didn't have to be home until 10:30pm. That was awesome. It made me a little homesick though cause nothing could ever top our neighborhood. haha It was a great release to wear pants and hang out with the people we love. It helps give you a boost to keep being a missionary.
|My St. Louis hats|
|My district on the 4th of July|
This week Sister Rudd and I kind of had a go at each other. Sister Rudd has been having a hard time trying to accept and love herself for who she is. She has been working on being who she is and loving it which is awesome. She needs to love who she is but it becomes a problem when it turns into "that is who i am and you're going to have to deal with it" kind of attitude. It's my way or the highway kind of thing. Anyway, we were driving somewhere and she has made comments lately that sound like a compliment but really are a put down. Like she was talking about her friend who has season passes to Utah football games and how it would be fun to go and I was like "Oh, can I come?" and she said "No, cause you are too pretty". Who says that to someone? Anytime we are around the elders or people I can feel the tension of her needing the attention. If I am talking too much and we leave, she won't talk to me. So I finally asked her if I was doing something to upset her around the elders or anything. Instantly, she just went so defensive. I told her I was not accusing her of anything. All I was doing was asking if there was anything I could do. She pretty much told me that she had always been the friend of the pretty girl and she just can't trust me. Sorry. She told me I'd just have to deal with it. So, I just let it go.
On Saturday, we had a little heart to heart. Let me just tell you, it is funny how Heavenly Father works sometimes because I ended up opening up to her and telling her a little about my life, who I am, and why I am the way that I am after which she apologized. She apologized for not taking the time to really get to know me this transfer and for not working hard. You know, I might hang out with her after the mission. I feel kind of protective of her for the things people have done to her but I hope I will get a new companion this next transfer. But, I will say this. Although she has frustrated me beyond belief, I have found that Heavenly Father put me with her to learn some very specific things that I need to learn and learn only from her like how often we place such high regards on looks and outward appearances when we have no idea that our judgement of that person could be so far from right. The person you have just judged might feel the exact same way that you do. Everyone has a story. Everyone is a daughter and a son of God...nothing more and nothing less.
On a happy note, guess what I did last night? I caught fireflies or lightning bugs with the "B's" kids and we put them in a mason jar. I felt just like a little kid. They are so magical. This is my favorite thing about Missouri and I am definitely going to miss those little bugs. Nothing is better than being a kid again.
So, my what I learned this week is actually a scripture that I came across when I was really frustrated with Sister Rudd and felt like I couldn't be myself. I didn't want to be here in this area anymore and I didn't want to keep working with her and I was just being a little girl. I thought that I needed to get my act together and I was reflecting on when I was living in Heber and read a chapter from the Book of Mormon every night. I never realized how much peace and strength that gave me. I went into the office and shut the door and sat down to read a chapter. I am in 3rd Nephi Chapter 20. As I was reading, I came upon this line that says in verse 37 "Shake thyself from the dust; arise." That just hit me. It is time to get up and to not give up. I am a daughter of God and I was not designed to fail. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ and we are not the losing team. I was born with the ability to love and to be loved and I was raised by parents who taught me that quitting is never an option. We Lundskogs are not quitters, right Mom?
I love you guys with all of my heart. I fasted this Sunday that our house will sell and that you will feel Him there helping you out.
|Our dining room table and whiteboard|
|Selfie...do I look blonder?|